Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
