question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
