I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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