So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have post one night stand depression
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
