so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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