fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
