last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
