So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
