mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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