I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
