In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
