Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's Friday. Sex?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
