Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
