I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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