i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
