Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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