We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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