whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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