lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
