4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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