Define "chronic" masturbator.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
