i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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