Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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