I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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