Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
