My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
