How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
