just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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