just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
