is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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