i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
