Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
