dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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