I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
