You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
