She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
