am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
