Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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