I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
