Jerry, you need to find god
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
