look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
