some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
