It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
