so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
