chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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