At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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