Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
