How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
