what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
