It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
