he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
