I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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