we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
