You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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