How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
