The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
