I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
