You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
