Your tits are I can't wait for
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
