you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
