i just wanna soil my oats bro
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
