wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
