Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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