small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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