We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
