She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize