Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
