Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
