hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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