my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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