Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
