He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
