Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
